Twelve Songs for Christmas!
Man, I love Christmas. I really do. It’s a glorious assault
on the senses: the gorgeous taste of the Christmas dinner, the fresh smell of
the Christmas tree, the jarring sight of the *cough* tasteful decorations, the
feel of the presents, the festive sound of arguments after your uncle cheated
at Trivial Pursuit.
The films are good (so, which is your favourite Christmas film: Die Hard or It’s a Wonderful Life??)
but the music is absolutely bloody essential. Slade, Wizzard and Mariah have soundtracked
Christmas since time immemorial (or at least since 1994) so I figure it’s high
time we gave a few alternatives a spin. Wouldn’t you agree?
But, first, a few self-imposed ground rules. Now I should make it clear that we’re going to avoid the more frequently played tunes.
I’m not trying to be a hipster (honest!), there’s just little point in me
telling you about songs you already know, right? So, unfortunately, there’s no
place here for Jona Lewie
or The Pogues, despite
their undoubted excellence. Secondly, I’ll be swerving covers of classics for
similar reasons to point one. If you’re hankering for a bit of semi-familiar
class, you could do worse than sampling The Drifters’ ‘White Christmas’ or
The Polyphonic Spree’s ‘Happy Xmas (War is Over)’. Finally – and this is important – only
the very best songs have been selected. My original longlist consisted of about
280 tracks, and whilst most of them were absolute rubbish, I’ve also not been able to find place for wonderful old chestnuts
like John Cale’s ‘Child’s Christmas in Wales’, Electric Jungle’s ‘Funky, Funky Christmas’ or
any number of Sufjan Stevens’ stockingfillers in our merry dozen. Of course,
I’ve probably been as blind as a coal-less snowman and missed a belter, so if
you can think of a great, lesser-known yuletide classic that I haven’t
mentioned please feel free to let me know.
I’ve done playlists for St Pat’s and for Hallowe’en before,
but this, my friends, is the big one. Enjoy!
Oh, and, Merry Christmas everybody!
Byron Lee and the
Dragonaires feat. Toots & the Maytals – Happy Christmas
The most joyful Christmas song of all time. Period.
Christmas was better
in the olden days wasn’t it? The home was cosier, people were jollier and
everything seemed to be coloured with a rose-tinted haze. The snow probably was deeper in the Eighties. Then again,
the songs might not have been better – the likes of The Futureheads and Julien Casablancas prove that even here in the distant
future we do enjoy a good Christmas song.
For every Tiny Tim there’s a Scrooge and, you have to admit,
we kind of love the grumpy little buggers (especially if he happens to be Bill
Murray). Gruff Rhys – is there a better grumpy man name than Gruff? – glumly
celebrates the first post apocalypse Christmas in this Armageddonish slice of humbug. Other candidates for our
Scrooges gallery include the mugged The Kinks and They Might Be Giants, who are jealous of all the attention Santa gets...
On ‘Twinkle (Little
Christmas Lights)’, JD McPherson channels a sound coming straight from the
era of Solomon Burke-style Rhythm and Soul – keeping the likes of the
jump-jivin’ Huey Piano Smith’s ‘All I Want for Christmas (is a Little Bit of Music) company - but it’s actually only a
year old. I guess it’s a bit like when the Ghost of Christmas Past appears in a
Christmas Carol and shows Ebenezer the old Fezziwig parties he used to love.
A Caribbean Christmas couldn’t be further from the white Christmas Bing was dreaming of, but Lord Nelson, Lord Executor and Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry & Sandra Robinson have managed to make themselves festive essentials with me at least. That being said, it's been 76 years since ‘Christmas is a Joyful Day’ was first released and I’ve still no idea what he says…
Some songs are born Christmas, but some have Christmas
thrust upon them. ‘Snowman’ is not
about Christmas, it’s not even really about snowmen, but it’s still right near
the top of my Christmas tree, mainly due to the chattered moans that Andy
Partridge (in a pear tree?) is “freezing, freezing” and “shivering, shivering”.
Another good non-Christmas Christmas
song is The Fireman’s ‘Dance ‘til We’re High’. They might be a little less obvious
but the Christmas spirit is strong in these ones...
Ha I love this video!
Sally Shapiro –
Anorak Christmas
Valentine's Day is a try hard: Christmas is really the most romantic
time of the year. It conjures up images of picture perfect snowy landscapes,
beautiful people giving other beautiful people lots of beautiful gifts, and a whole lot of
frolicking. It doesn't matter that in reality it involves less romantic notions like gorging yourself silly, drinking too much and running out of energy by quarter past eight; none of these can disguise the romance of the time. Sally Shapiro is pure, distilled loveliness,
and so it makes sense that she made a lovely Christmas love song. Fancy more
awesome indie tracks in the same vein? Try Gorky's Zygotic Mynci or Low.Clarence Carter – Back Door Santa
Ok, hands up if you can name a great hip hop Christmas song.
You’re thinking of ‘Christmas in Hollis’ right*? But it’s
rubbish! It’s clunky and old and gimmicky. Far better is the song that it
samples, Clarence Carter’s down and dirty ‘Back
Door Santa’, complete with the sleaziest “ho, ho, ho” in recording history.
You’ll have a blue Christmas indeed with this gem. By the way, does anyone
really find an obese, old man with a straggly white beard – one who wears an
odd onesie and has an unhealthy obsession with children – attractive? Aside
from Albert King that
is…
Recorded not too far off a hundred years ago, ‘Christ Was Born on Christmas Morn’ may
be one of the earliest non-carol Christmas songs but it still ranks amongst the
best. Frankie “Half-Pint” Jaxon delivers the song with an attitude more in
keeping with the rock and roll songs of three decades later, whilst his backing
band give a spirited if old-fashioned performance. Leadbelly’s ‘Christmas is a-coming’ is
similar, sounding like Jaxon backed only by a souped-up guitar.
John Prine – Christmas in Prison
It’s a well known fact that you can put the word “Christmas”
in front of anything and it instantly becomes authentically festive. Hence ‘Christmas at the Zoo’ and
‘Christmas in Prison’ are definitely,
without a doubt, 100%, bona-fide Christmas songs…
The Vandals – My
First Xmas (As a Woman)
And finally, let’s finish on something a little bit
leftfield. I can imagine that it’s transexual subject matter won’t appeal to everyone
(Christmas songs rarely have a couplet to rival “I won’t have to tuck it behind
me, since I got my brand new vagina”)
but ‘My First Xmas (As a Woman)’
is genuinely one of punk rock’s finest Christmas songs, easily the rival of the
Sonics’ ‘Don’t Believe in Christmas’
or ‘Santa Claus’.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
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