Twas the night before Christmas, when all through
the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. I frantically surfed the ‘net with dismay Was no record released on this blasted day? My blog was all set up for completion with care, But no album occurred for me to lay there. Google “album Christmas eve” and you’ll find there’s
no hits I huffed in my seat ready to call it quits. When out of my laptop there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. The Genesis had started with a sound loud and brash, Made of classic-metal tendencies and lots of guitar
flash. Heavy metal epics and blistering solos, Fingers that bled like Rudolph’s red nose. I jumped for joy and cheered “I’ve found one!” (then remembered my family sleeping and kept myself schtum) ‘Merlin’s
Castle’, ‘Dying Man’, ‘On a Serious Note’ ‘Voodoo Child’
(the one Hendrix wrote) Excellent tracks from the Swedish virtuoso My cheeks were a-flush with a Christmassy glow Most days, it’s true, I prefer things less rocking, But I was happy to find Yngwie in my stocking. He was there to help me out of my Christmas Eve
plight. "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a
good-night!" Albumaday... rating: 5/10
Artist – Album: DMX
– Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood
Released: 22nd
December 1998
Sounds Like: Live life ¼ mile at a time
Just 5 days before the great Nelson Mandela sadly
passed on, another hero was taken by our lord. Paul Walker, aka Brian O’Conner
in The Fast and the Furious, died doing what he loved to do most – driving a
very nice car very, very fast. Now I may not seem like the type to be a fan of
the petrol-head centred, hip hop orientated franchise The Fast and the Furious
but, for some reason, I just love it. It might be Vin Diesel’s smouldering
performance, it might the adrenaline-filled climax, it might even be all the
lovely scantily clad ladies in the film (surely not); whatever the reason,
F&F is my guilty pleasure. The soundtrack too is a hoot, filled with early Noughties
hip hop that is both boisterous and barking. DMX only makes a brief appearance
on the soundtrack (guesting on Limp Bizkit’s ‘Rollin’’) but it is he and his Ruff Ryders posse that are the
fathers of that scene. Songs like ‘Ruff
Ryders’ Anthem’ and ‘Party Up (Up in
Here)’ spawned a million imitators (including F&F favourites Ja Rule
and Ludacris) and were excellent party tracks. Unfortunately, they are also
conspicuous by their absence on Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood. DMX has
still got his rough and ready aggressive shtick down pat but on this, his
second album, he doesn’t back it up with choruses of the calibre of his best. Flesh of My Flesh… followed It’s Dark and Hell is
Hot by only a matter of months and so maybe it was a bit of a rush job, pushed
through quickly to make the most of the debut’s unmitigated success. Whatever
the reason – and I realise my stock may have fallen since I professed my love
for the Fast and the Furious – it’s not as good as the albums either side of
it. Albumaday... rating: 5/10
Why did I choose Jodeci? It was a straight shoot out
between this and a half-decent DMX album called …And Then There Was X. Honestly,
I kind of assumed that Jodeci’s Diary of a Mad Band was a metal album and so I
chose it to give us some respite from the countless R&B records we’ve been
through recently. How wrong I was. Jodeci are not a metal band. They do not rock in the
slightest. They are, instead, early 90’s exponents of boring R&B and New
Jack Swing (fun fact: those irritating manchilds JLS are named after the
movement Jack the Lad Swing, a direct descent of NJS) who sound like a Boyz II
Men tribute act. Never bad, it somehow tightrope walks that thin line of total
indifference, which in it’s own way is much, much worse. Previous bad albums
such as those infernal Dixie Chicks were terrible, but at least they left a
mark – Diary of a Mad Band skips across my conscience like a skimmed stone. I’ve
half a mind to give it a worse score than the lowest ratings I’ve yet meted out
but I actually don’t want to honour it with that anti-accolade. The album may have a pretty damn impressive claim to
fame – it features the first ever album appearances from each of Timbaland,
Missy Elliott and Ginuwine – but even those illustrious acts cannot save it
from beige mediocrity. Albumaday... rating: 5/10
Man, I love Christmas. I really do. It’s a glorious assault
on the senses: the gorgeous taste of the Christmas dinner, the fresh smell of
the Christmas tree, the jarring sight of the *cough* tasteful decorations, the
feel of the presents, the festive sound of arguments after your uncle cheated
at Trivial Pursuit.
The films are good (so, which is your favourite Christmas film: Die Hard or It’s a Wonderful Life??)
but the music is absolutely bloody essential. Slade, Wizzard and Mariah have soundtracked
Christmas since time immemorial (or at least since 1994) so I figure it’s high
time we gave a few alternatives a spin. Wouldn’t you agree?
But, first, a few self-imposed ground rules. Now I should make it clear that we’re going to avoid the more frequently played tunes.
I’m not trying to be a hipster (honest!), there’s just little point in me
telling you about songs you already know, right? So, unfortunately, there’s no
place here for Jona Lewie
or The Pogues, despite
their undoubted excellence. Secondly, I’ll be swerving covers of classics for
similar reasons to point one. If you’re hankering for a bit of semi-familiar
class, you could do worse than sampling The Drifters’ ‘White Christmas’ or
The Polyphonic Spree’s ‘Happy Xmas (War is Over)’. Finally – and this is important – only
the very best songs have been selected. My original longlist consisted of about
280 tracks, and whilst most of them were absolute rubbish, I’ve also not been able to find place for wonderful old chestnuts
like John Cale’s ‘Child’s Christmas in Wales’, Electric Jungle’s ‘Funky, Funky Christmas’ or
any number of Sufjan Stevens’ stockingfillers in our merry dozen. Of course,
I’ve probably been as blind as a coal-less snowman and missed a belter, so if
you can think of a great, lesser-known yuletide classic that I haven’t
mentioned please feel free to let me know.
I’ve done playlists for St Pat’s and for Hallowe’en before,
but this, my friends, is the big one. Enjoy!
Oh, and, Merry Christmas everybody!
Byron Lee and the
Dragonaires feat. Toots & the Maytals – Happy Christmas
The most joyful Christmas song of all time. Period.
The Futureheads –
Christmas Was Better in the 80s
Christmas was better
in the olden days wasn’t it? The home was cosier, people were jollier and
everything seemed to be coloured with a rose-tinted haze. The snow probably was deeper in the Eighties. Then again,
the songs might not have been better – the likes of The Futureheads and Julien Casablancasprove that even here in the distant
future we do enjoy a good Christmas song.
Gruff Rhys – Post
Apocalypse Christmas
For every Tiny Tim there’s a Scrooge and, you have to admit,
we kind of love the grumpy little buggers (especially if he happens to be Bill
Murray). Gruff Rhys – is there a better grumpy man name than Gruff? – glumly
celebrates the first post apocalypse Christmas in this Armageddonishslice of humbug. Other candidates for our
Scrooges gallery include the mugged The Kinks and They Might Be Giants, who are jealous of all the attention Santa gets...
JD McPherson –
Twinkle (Little Christmas Lights)
On ‘Twinkle (Little
Christmas Lights)’, JD McPherson channels a sound coming straight from the
era of Solomon Burke-style Rhythm and Soul – keeping the likes of the
jump-jivin’ Huey Piano Smith’s ‘All I Want for Christmas (is a Little Bit of Music)company - but it’s actually only a
year old. I guess it’s a bit like when the Ghost of Christmas Past appears in a
Christmas Carol and shows Ebenezer the old Fezziwig parties he used to love.
Lord Executor –
Christmas is a Joyful Day A Caribbean Christmas couldn’t be further from the white
Christmas Bing was dreaming of, but Lord Nelson, Lord
Executor and Lee ‘Scratch’
Perry & Sandra Robinson have managed to make themselves festive essentials with me at least. That
being said, it's been 76 years since ‘Christmas is
a Joyful Day’ was first released and I’ve still no idea what he says…
XTC - Snowman
Some songs are born Christmas, but some have Christmas
thrust upon them. ‘Snowman’ is not
about Christmas, it’s not even really about snowmen, but it’s still right near
the top of my Christmas tree, mainly due to the chattered moans that Andy
Partridge (in a pear tree?) is “freezing, freezing” and “shivering, shivering”.
Another good non-Christmas Christmas
song is The Fireman’s ‘Dance ‘til We’re High’. They might be a little less obvious
but the Christmas spirit is strong in these ones...
The Echelons – A
Christmas Long Ago (Jingle Jingle)
Ha I love this video!
Sally Shapiro –
Anorak Christmas
Valentine's Day is a try hard: Christmas is really the most romantic
time of the year. It conjures up images of picture perfect snowy landscapes,
beautiful people giving other beautiful people lots of beautiful gifts, and a whole lot of
frolicking. It doesn't matter that in reality it involves less romantic notions like gorging yourself silly, drinking too much and running out of energy by quarter past eight; none of these can disguise the romance of the time. Sally Shapiro is pure, distilled loveliness,
and so it makes sense that she made a lovely Christmas love song. Fancy more
awesome indie tracks in the same vein? Try Gorky's Zygotic Mynci or Low.
Clarence Carter –
Back Door Santa
Ok, hands up if you can name a great hip hop Christmas song.
You’re thinking of ‘Christmas in Hollis’ right*? But it’s
rubbish! It’s clunky and old and gimmicky. Far better is the song that it
samples, Clarence Carter’s down and dirty ‘Back
Door Santa’, complete with the sleaziest “ho, ho, ho” in recording history.
You’ll have a blue Christmas indeed with this gem. By the way, does anyone
really find an obese, old man with a straggly white beard – one who wears an
odd onesie and has an unhealthy obsession with children – attractive? Aside
from Albert King that
is…
Cotton Top Mountain Sanctified
Singers – Christ Was Born on Christmas Morn
Recorded not too far off a hundred years ago, ‘Christ Was Born on Christmas Morn’ may
be one of the earliest non-carol Christmas songs but it still ranks amongst the
best. Frankie “Half-Pint” Jaxon delivers the song with an attitude more in
keeping with the rock and roll songs of three decades later, whilst his backing
band give a spirited if old-fashioned performance. Leadbelly’s ‘Christmas is a-coming’ is
similar, sounding like Jaxon backed only by a souped-up guitar.
John Prine –
Christmas in Prison
It’s a well known fact that you can put the word “Christmas”
in front of anything and it instantly becomes authentically festive. Hence ‘Christmas at the Zoo’ and
‘Christmas in Prison’ are definitely,
without a doubt, 100%, bona-fide Christmas songs…
The Vandals – My
First Xmas (As a Woman)
And finally, let’s finish on something a little bit
leftfield. I can imagine that it’s transexual subject matter won’t appeal to everyone
(Christmas songs rarely have a couplet to rival “I won’t have to tuck it behind
me, since I got my brand new vagina”)but ‘My First Xmas (As a Woman)’
is genuinely one of punk rock’s finest Christmas songs, easily the rival of the
Sonics’ ‘Don’t Believe in Christmas’
or ‘Santa Claus’.
Hats off to Mary J. Blige. I do try to listen to
each album with open ears (is that the correct phrase??) but, having grown up
during a period of tepid R&B dominance, I had particularly low expectations
for this one. Worse still, I remembered the chokingly poor team up with U2 for
the cover of ‘One’, a version that
was more bilge than Blige. Suffice to say, I was bracing myself for two thumbs
down for this effort. But, I’m pleased to say, I was dead wrong. On album
highlight ‘MJB da MVP’ (one of many
collaborations, this time with 50 Cent), Blige proclaims herself the “Soul hip
hop queen” and she means it. Few can match her for her stunning
vocals, and whilst Mariah got lost in some loopy dreamworld and Whitney battled
with addiction and bad men, Mary had the smarts to keep it real. Her influence
on the best R&B/soul artists such as Aaliyah and Alicia Keys is plain to
see, but she was also able to keep up with the times – ‘Be Without You’ and ‘MJB da
MVP’ are excellent singles. Blige was 34 by the time of the Breakthrough, and so
it’s understandable that matters in her life have settled somewhat. Despite her
‘Baggage’, she’s now happy and
married and that old attitude has simmered down a bit. Regardless, great
production, top notch vocals, and simply the most consistent set of songs Blige
has worked with in a long time make for a thoroughly enjoyable record. As long
as you ignore the U2 track. Albumaday... rating: 7/10
